By Travis Walling:
Comedy Intramural Sports Ombudsman
Editor’s note: In an effort to make sure we’re doing our jobs properly,
Comedy has appointed Travis Walling as ombudsman for coverage of Comedy
Intramural sports. That is to say, Travis appointed himself because he’s bored
at work. He’s here to independently observe and report on coverage of Pittsburgh Comedy
Intramural sports, and answer questions from made up readers. Pittsburgh
Another year, another Super Fool football game. For a second year in a row I was unable to play due to having what medical science has termed “Explodey Heart”. Despite (because of?) my absence this year’s game proved to be an exciting affair, rife with athletes well past their prime, and ringers of all shapes and sizes. Once again the coverage was provided by James J Hamilton. And once again he gave the sort of detail usually reserved for articles about things like
Middle East peace
negotiations and botched health care roll-outs. I see no issues with the
coverage, outside of painting a too positive a portrait of Matt Light. However
there were a few issues brought to my attention from readers. Here are a few
While I enjoy your coverage of all things
Comedy sports, don’t you have any other journalists besides James J Hamilton? Pittsburgh
T. Gurovich ~ Blawnox
Pittsburgh Comedy is proud to have James J. Hamilton cover our sporting events. James has proven himself to be a wonderful writer, and he works for what we’re willing to pay (nothing). Additionally he has much more time to cover these events since he doesn’t do stand-up anymore
Can you confirm or deny that there were more people in the stands of this game than the Pitt/Miami game?
~ D. Wannstedt ~
I cannot give details of the attendance, though I can confirm that the NWO lost in very Pitt fashion.
I take umbrage with
fabricating stories. He’s obviously making up names out of thin air. I mean, ‘Norlex
Belma’…. really? We’re supposed to believe that’s a real person’s name? Did his
Madden name generator break? Pittsburgh
M. Mitzelplik ~ 5th Dimension
I assure you that Norlex Belma is a real person. However we are currently investigating the existence of alleged
Pittsburgh comic Fakey McFartypants. He’s
either a made-up comic, or a new Matt Wolfarth stage name.
Your journalist didn’t specify: Does the photo below show Tom Musial at the peak of his current vertical leap?
The bad news: Yes, that is true.
The good news: He’s still in the top half in vertical leap among participants
In your game preview your journalist pointed out that Jason Russell played alongside Trent Cole when he could have pointed out that he played alongside former Steeler Andre Frazier. Doesn’t he know “former Steeler” always trumps “current All-Pro”? I hope this mistake will not be made in the future.
T. Yinzer ~ Fucking anywhere in Pittsburgh
We here at Pittsburgh Comedy apologize for the oversight, and Mr. Hamilton has been sent to 2 weeks at “Steelers Recognition Camp”. The camp is located in a field surrounded by barbed-wire and armed guards at the Steeler’s South Side facility.
Why don’t you put this much effort into writing your actual act?
T. Walling ~ Irwin
Well Mr. Walling, if that is my real name, I assure you that I've been told that one new good joke every six months is a good pace. And with luck one day I'll meet that pace. Also, this ombudsman job is a demanding mistress.
That’s it. If you have any issues/questions regarding coverage of Pittsburgh Comedy Intramural sports, get a life.