It’s the year 2016, at least I think it is. I haven’t had much of a concept of time since I went underground and joined the resistance. You see, it was roughly 4 years ago that a new dictator took control of the airwaves, the armies, the world. That dictator simply went by: Flo
It started quickly, one day, out of the blue. Flo and her minions somehow took over all TVs, radios, and internet signals in the world. Security footage of the event has been saved at the expense of lives of countless rebels.
It can be seen here
It still sends a chill up my spine. First it was to tell us about something called a “Snapshot discount”, a product that was supposed to be used to track your driving and give you a discount based on how good a driver you were. What people didn’t realize was that the “Snapshot Discount” was actually a device that tracked your every movement, took control of your car, and could not be removed once installed. There were countless times there would be 5 or 6 cars being driven off of a cliff by Flo just to show the power she wielded. Soon Flo was using her control of all media to call for the death of the guy from the Allstate commercials. We hid him by pretending he was Denzel Washington, or a young time-traveling Morgan Freeman but soon he was sacrificed. Then came the robots
They looked friendly enough, with the smiles and shiny flipped “hairdos”. But make no mistake, these were remorseless killing machines. Whether it was the machine gun turrets in the hands, the lasers that shot out of their eyes, or the small nuclear explosions that were caused when they were destroyed, we as a nation knew we could not defeat all one million of them. The United States surrendered quickly, and all other nations followed suit. Save for Japan who instantly developed a fetish for the robots and worked out a deal for Flo to sell them in giant vending machines.
I’m writing this to make those of you out there aware that there is a resistance. We are small, but we are cunning. We’ve already rewired a defective robot to dance around. Once we figure out something useful to do with it then we’ll really be onto something. We will win, we have to win. The future of humanity is at stake. We need to get to a better state, into better hands, before we’re reduced to cavemen.